The Wise Man knows best...I Hope

A wise man once said that your school years are the best years of your life. Now you can be forgiven for point blank disagreeing as a fourteen year old, led in bed trying to pull a fast one on your parents by clutching your stomach in anguish and forcing out a cough here and there; when the only thing making you feel a bit out of sorts is the thought of double English first up on a Monday morning. Shakespeare has been known to have that effect.

But its only once you’ve left school and advanced a little further along the line that you realise how comfortable and easy life was back in the day; a whole 3 years ago for me. I sit here writing this, currently 19 years and 355 days old. So without going into hours, minutes, seconds and leap years you may have worked out that in about 10 days time I will be TWENTY years old. Now to me, twenty, as an age is incredibly scary. It feels like as the suffix (for you English Language students out there) ‘teen’ is removed from your life and dropped deep into the abyss, never to be seen again...all your standard excuses and get-out-of-jail-free cards stand up and follow it. Any mood swings and tantrums can no longer be blamed on teenage hormones and will just earn the title of miserable bastard. Whilst any signs of reckless behaviour will leave you looking irresponsible and immature.

It truly is an intimidating time...being half way to forty is a terrible way of looking at it, even if the same wise man did say that ‘life begins at forty’, we’ll see about that. We all have an idea of things we would like to have achieved by certain age milestones. For example, at forty you’d maybe expect to be married with kids, with a few signs of grey. At sixty, if you’re lucky you’d be contemplating retirement and watching as your kids discover that parenting isn’t as easy they imagined. Grey hairs wouldn’t be an issue, you’d just feel lucky to have them; and by eighty and one would hope, well into retirement, a permanent break away to a seaside town would ooze with appeal. By seaside I do not mean Blackpool or Weston-Super-Mare; if the pleasure beach isn’t tacky enough for you, Weston is a prime example of what Blackpool would look like if nuclear war ever hit our great nation. I’m talking a cosy little bungalow in Devon.

But getting back to the subject, twenty is an age at which you’re not really sure exactly what you’re supposed to have achieved. I’m hoping I’ve got it spot on as I dive deep into the world of Students in three weeks time. But for many it differs, some are straight into the real world and in a well developed career; others have already started a family. As I said, no one is completely certain what a twenty year old is meant to be doing.

But if I do have to become a year older, I propose a way around all of this ‘real world’ malark for anyone approaching this terrible age. On September 9^th, I will not turn twenty...I’ll turn twenteen. It’s a self preservation thing. Peace out.

P.s this isn’t a mid-life crisis...I intend on making it to my bungalow.

Summer 2010 - Over rated

So as the summer holidays begin for many of the younger generations, I can’t help but feel a sense of anti-climax; like the summer novelty has worn off and these past weeks have done nothing but drag along. I’m all out of straws to clutch at with regards to the weather; however my ever pale complexion means I’m delaying packing away the sun cream until the first signs of snow.

It’s definitely a case of frustration. Frustration at: weather; repetitiveness; the fact that I’m not still on my travels. (Tick any or all of the above) but the underlying catalyst of my frustrations is boredom. There is only so many times you can go to the gym, kick a ball around or have a drink at your local before reluctantly ending your night in a half empty hall, regretting the very second you handed over that sacred five pound note. People of Clevedon will understand and unfortunately for many, you’ll be able to relate to the latter.

Boredom does strange things to people. For example, I nearly, oh so nearly read a book yesterday. As I scoured my book shelf for good material I realised just how many autobiographies I own, all of good people, people who have achieved great things in their life; legends some would say. Sir Bobby Robson, Sir Geoff Hurst, Ian Holloway (sort of). It takes a certain person to write an autobiography. A person with good life experience or just someone with a great story to tell.

At this point you’re all wondering what I’m going on about and why I’m hypocritically boring you all to death. I’ll tell you why. As I sat in my car the other day, waiting at the traffic lights I heard something tragic on the radio, (cut to the chase I know). Everyone’s favourite pubescent battering ram Mr Justin Bieber is releasing an autobiography. Yeah whatever he’s got a good success story and I do not doubt his musical talents. But please, give me a break! He’s sixteen years old! What could he possibly have to write about? Ok, so he posted some videos on YouTube, Usher saw them and signed him up and now he’s a star. Lovely story, almost bought a tear to my eye (note sarcasm). That fills 30 pages....what else? Two dot-to-dots, a colour by numbers and a word search? Is it just me that finds this hard to believe? I don't blame the kid though, if someone asked me to write a load of tosh for a few million dollars I'd do it; Instead I do it for free.

To accompany this, a film is rumoured to be in the pipelines. It’s good to see he’s catering for the majority of Americans by giving them something they don’t have to read. I’m sure the film will do okay, it certainly won’t be the worst life-based film ever, Get Rich or die trying has that award sewn up for a long time to come.

I’m very easily aggravated at the moment, as the previous 15 lines demonstrate. It’s nothing personal Justin, but it’s safe to say I won’t be buying your book.

In an attempt to put a positive spin on things, I start University in 7 weeks time which I’m really looking forward to. The thought of exams and revision again is quite daunting to someone who’s been out of education for a whole year but this is shoved out the way by the thought of a whole new start, new people and some great life experiences....oh and the degree bit, that as well.

This post may make me out to be an unsatisfied loony who writes with little structure and just blurts out his moans and issues with society before forcing them on to everyone else (some of that is true)...that’s assuming that people actually read this random rant. I’m happy, just bored and in need of something new. I’ll know it when I find it...Uni could be just the remedy. Over and out.